Holding it Together

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Today I was going to talk about when I woke and felt on another plane of existence.  One where there weren’t a million voices chattering in my head at me and that time felt like it was moving slow.  It dawned on me as I drove to work that this is probably that elusive beast people call normal or level.  I was kind of excited to be there and realize what it was while I was there.

However, yes, unfortunately there is a however, I arrived at work and all that normal peaceful shit flew right out the window.  Between having two days of work to sort and handle after having a day off, having several advisors be in need of my assistance, and teen parenting/dealing with the other parent kicking in full gear before 10 a.m. all that “normal” has pulled a disappearing act.

Instead, today, I will say that the levelness was nice for the hour it lasted.   And that I am grateful for starting out that way, because if I had started out on a tipped scale, all the aforementioned tasks would have spiked me harder than it did.

So now I’m in a state of heightened anxiety and slightly manic.

But I’m handling it like a champ; a speed-talking, moving at the speed-of-light champ, but a champ nonetheless.

I have a feeling I will be exhausted tonight!

Woohoo, let’s give two cheers for being on high speed crazy but still holding it all together!!!

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Checkmate? (Poetry)

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Twisted inside; choking on myself.
Maybe I’m the doll
That should be left on the shelf.

Sickened within
By my own frame of mind;
Feeling all sorts of misaligned.

Miss-matched and varied;
A patchwork of personality,
All fighting to be unburied.

An unappetizing mix
Contradicting into itself;
Light as air, heavy as bricks.

All I can do is let them battle
Until they dissipate,
And my core-self can yell “Checkmate!”

~Sandserene 5/11/17